I still remember the first time, as a child, I discovered I could “speak” with my mouth closed—that is, I discovered I could think.
It was a monumental discovery for me, being able to hear my own words in my mind without uttering a single word aloud.
As I recall, my mom was on the phone, and at that moment she needed me to be quiet. I wanted to say something at the top of my lungs, so I said what I wanted to say, but with my mouth closed. In other words, I discovered I could express myself and listen to myself.
I remember spending what felt like a long time listening to my own thoughts. I moved my tongue as if I were speaking, but without uttering a word aloud. I no longer had to wait for others to hear me! My voice, or my thoughts, began to flow with ease and naturally within me. It wasn’t like before, when I only “heard” myself when someone paid attention; it was enough for me to pay attention to myself.
And you, do you remember when as a child you first started thinking?
I have no idea how long it was before I discovered I wasn’t the only one with that unusual ability. I think it was during a conversation with my cousins, and we were all very young.
Later, when it was my turn to be a mom, I remember very well the faces of each of my daughters when I imagine they discovered they could think. Their expressions lit up, their gaze became distant, and they paused when speaking. It was almost as if I were watching the lightbulb above their heads turn on.
Watching them grow, raising them, and knowing them from the womb, it was as if I knew some of their thoughts. On the other hand, some other thoughts I had no idea where they came from, yet they reflected the curiosity of mischievous little girls.
For you, is it important to notice your inner thoughts?
In scripture, Jesus also says that if we are angry with someone, or look at them with ill will, there has already been a fault, and a fault in the heart.
Here, Jesus seems to be referring to something that happens within us, in our interior.
And you, do you give yourself the opportunity to listen to what’s happening inside you?
The thoughts we each have are like instructions, or directions, that we give to our behavior.
Have you noticed the direction of your thoughts?
If the Spirit leads you, share with Jesus the carpenter if you perceive the direction your thoughts are leading you. And perhaps, you will discover that Jesus invites you to readjust that direction.
Marisol
P. S.: We can hear about how what happens inside us also matters in the readings for the Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time, year/cycle A.
