My beautiful daughters have always loved babies. Each one, in their own way, is naturally drawn to their tender plumpness and smiles. It doesn’t matter if the babies are playing with a toy, sleeping, or in their parents’ arms. Whenever they see little babies, their hearts warm.
For that reason, at least eight times a month, we discuss moments and memories from when they were little.
Among those conversations, photos of them when they were little also come up. Jessica, as the older sister, has memories of when Natalia was little. And those memories are even more vivid when they see her baby photos.
As a natural consequence, the conversation also turns to what each of them was like on their own, and when they were together. To this I reply:
“I’m not going to lie, when you were little, it was hard.”
As a baby, Jessica had me all to herself, and Nataly shared me with her little sister.
Interestingly, as a baby, Natalia struggled a lot to fall asleep. Or I was the impatient one… hahaha. I remember that at that stage, I was completely exhausted by the end of the day.
Precisely because I was tired, there were times when I wasn’t the most patient mother in the world. There were times when I was sure Nataly was ready for me to put her down in her crib, only to have the unpleasant surprise that, as soon as I put her down as gently as possible, she would start crying.
And Jessica, who was around four years old, would patiently wait for me to put her sister down so she could have some quality time with me. But I wasn’t always in the best mood.
When Jessica realized Nataly was already asleep, she would start talking to me and want to show me what book she wanted me to read to her when we went to bed. Or sometimes it was a toy she wanted to fall asleep with. The point was that amidst my exhaustion, all I heard was:
“Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy…”
And I not only had a heaviness in my body due to be so tired, I also had a heavy heart. I was so tired, and she was so happy to be with me.
Have you ever had a time when you don’t know how to respond internally or externally when someone asks for something?
In the Gospel, Jesus tells the parable of a widow who insists that a judge grant her justice. And it seems the judge only responds so she’ll stop bothering him, rather than wanting to help.
With Jessica, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to give her the time and attention I knew she needed. Rather, it was that at many times I wasn’t at my best.
When you ask God for something, are you moved by the longing for what you’re seeking?
And when you long for something and don’t ask, why don’t you do it?
And what about when someone asks you for something? Do you know what moves you to give? Compassion, or seeking to be left alone?
If the Spirit leads you, share with Jesus the carpenter what you discover moves you to ask in prayer, and what moves you to remain silent. And perhaps you’ll discover a new experience for expressing your request.
Marisol
P.S. We can hear about asking in prayer in the readings for the 29th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year/Cycle C.
