I met a woman (who I will call Maria) who for a long time was told by her family that she was inexpressive and she was very, very introverted.<\/p>\n
After Maria got married, her mother saw how kindly and tenderly her daughter was playing with her granddaughter. She was so shocked that she said to her:<\/p>\n
\u2013 You\u2019re so dry, how come you play so nicely with your daughter?<\/p>\n
-Mom, it’s because she\u2019s my daughter\u2026<\/p>\n
Although Maria received and answered the question clearly, she did not understand where the question was coming from. It was then that Maria began to wonder if there was something \u201cwrong\u201d with her.<\/p>\n
As Maria began to pay some attention to her emotional expression, she realized that the vast majority of her friends expressed themselves more freely than she did. She also noticed the same thing about her husband and her family.<\/p>\n
After investing some time observing herself, and trying different ways to look for what was going on deep inside her, her confusion grew even more. It was then that she decided to seek professional help.<\/p>\n
That professional relationship didn’t work out.<\/p>\n
There are various forms of professional help, and there came a time when Maria no longer wanted to go back to her therapist. Obviously, I don’t know the details, but what I do know is that Maria was very upset, although she didn’t express it much.<\/p>\n
Time continued to pass. Maria and I talked from time to time, and before she left her therapist, she confided in me some situations that she was going through. They weren’t deeply personal things, but rather she described some feelings in very broad strokes.<\/p>\n
There came a point where I realized that she stopped mentioning difficult feelings, and only mentioned positive things. Only something didn’t match. What she described was not equivalent to her way of speaking, to her body language. I don’t know what was happening, it seemed as if she didn’t connect well with her emotions.<\/p>\n
In your case, is it easy for you to perceive your emotions?<\/p>\n
Even more time passed. And Maria later confided to me that she sought professional help again, with a different therapist. After several sessions, her therapist told her that she might be suffering from depression. And\u2026 she didn\u2019t like it either.<\/p>\n
Her question, more for herself than for me, was:<\/p>\n
\u2013What am I doing wrong? I have everything to be happy. Could it be that God is punishing me for being ungrateful?<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t have any answers for her. What I could do, I did, which was to be with her in those moments.<\/p>\n
And you, have you ever felt bad for feeling bad? Do you think that God sees you badly for that?<\/p>\n
This feeling of feeling bad on top of another unpleasant situation is an echo that I have seen not only in other people, but that I have also discovered in myself.<\/p>\n
Do you distinguish what you feel? Do you allow yourself to feel what you feel or do you reject it? Is it easy to express your feelings?<\/p>\n
Maria\u2019s life and mine did not coincide for several months. When we met again, she shared that she was very happy with her therapist. Without giving any specifics, she told me that she was so happy with her because she knew that she wouldn’t judge her. And that allowed her to express herself more freely.<\/p>\n
In your life, do you have someone with whom you can freely express yourself?<\/p>\n
Paul writes to the Ephesians to express their feelings with psalms and songs.<\/p>\n
What are your feelings?<\/p>\n
Do you know them? Do you reject them? Do you welcome them? What is your version of expressing yourself with psalms and songs?<\/p>\n
At the time, Maria found it very difficult to receive her own feelings, because she thought that God saw her as bad for feeling bad, and that prevented her from being able to express herself as she really felt.<\/p>\n
And you, can you express whatever is in you? How do you think God sees you for the real way you feel?<\/p>\n
Maria discovered that there was nothing wrong with her for feeling bad at times. She received professional help, discovering that no, depression is not a sin, it is not a punishment, and that she did not have to feel bad about feeling bad.<\/p>\n
Jesus the Carpenter is the master of emotions, with a loving mind, and an intelligent heart.<\/p>\n
If the Spirit leads you, share with Jesus the Carpenter what you feel. Maybe you will start singing together.<\/p>\n
Marisol<\/p>\n
P.S. We can hear about how Paul tells the Ephesians to express themselves with songs in the readings of the XX Sunday of Ordinary Time, year\/cycle B.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I met a woman (who I will call Maria) who for a long time was told by her family that she was inexpressive and she was very, very introverted. After Maria got married, her mother saw how kindly and tenderly her daughter was playing with her granddaughter. She was so shocked that she said to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8108,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8111","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general-2-2"],"yoast_head":"\n