On one occasion my daughters were at their cousins’ house, and their little cousin who lives in Mexico was visiting over. They were sharing breakfast. My daughters were perhaps between 12 and 15 years old respectively, and their little cousin between 6 or 7 years old. Their little cousin accidentally spilled the orange juice at the table, and her aunt asked her: “Who spilled the juice?” In her innocence, she said: “My cousin,” but her cousin wasn’t even home. That’s when my daughters laughed out of cuteness.
At her young age, my daughters’ little cousin did not know or could not take responsibility for having spilled her juice, perhaps she imagined that she was going to be scolded, or that she was going to be punished. I don’t know that. But I know that I did imagine those two consequences for mistakes or accidents that I have had.
This reminds me of the response of Adam and Eve, after God asks them if they ate the fruit of the forbidden tree, each one blames the other. Adam blames Eve, and Eve blames the serpent.
Whether we realize it or not, our actions have consequences, and we are called to deal with them. In the case of Adam and Eve, the consequence was that they had to move out.
For you, how easy or difficult is it to admit responsibility when your actions are not appropriate?
Or, after admitting responsibility and facing consequences, do you continue to punish yourself?
I know stories of people who are in either or cases. I recently heard that a friend’s father, who is elderly, walks to the church near her house and looks for the priest to confess. After some time, the priest spoke with my friend’s family, seeking help in trying to remind her father that there was no need to confess the same thing every time, since the forgiveness that the sacrament gives was already given. The priest had already told this to the good man, and yet he kept coming to seek forgiveness.
Again, consequences aside, what is your experience in dealing internally with your actions when they are inappropriate?
Whether we find it hard to accept responsibility and blame others, or we become obsessive and drown in guilt, forgiveness comes when we seek it. Do you receive it?
When I was in high school, and we went to the Lasallian Holy Week missions in the Sierra Tarahumara, the temperatures at night were so cold that it was freezing every night. When it was time to get up (even still dark), and we stepped on the grass, we heard the ice cracking on the surface. Some of us early risers would go get a coffee in the kitchen, and then we would go to a place nearby, where we knew the sun would hit once it rose. With ice on the ground, with the sky still dark, with a coffee in our hand, and with a cold that penetrated to the bones, we still knew that the sun would arrive, and would alleviate our cold. There was no doubt that the sky would stop and the sun would not rise. There was no doubt that coffee would help us recover our internal temperature. There was no doubt. We knew it.
When you may find it difficult to accept responsibility for your actions and blame others, do you seek forgiveness? do you receive it?
When guilt consumes you, do you seek forgiveness? do you receive it?
In that small group of early-rising missionaries, we knew that the sun would rise. And we felt the pleasant heat of the coffee while we were shivering from the cold. Knowing that the sun was coming, and feeling the heat of the coffee, was experiencing the knowing and feeling that we were going to be okay.
Knowing and feeling are different experiences.
What is your part to know you will be okay?
What is your part to help you feel that you will be okay?
Just as the sentinel and the cold missionaries received the dawn, you will not only know that the sun is coming with its pleasant warmth. You will also be able to know and feel forgiven.
Jesus tells us, everything will be forgiven, and there will be no need to say that someone else spilled the juice.
Marisol
P.S. We can hear about waiting for and receiving forgiveness in the readings for the 10th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year/Cycle B.
