Two years before my daughter Jessica started her first year in school, the school district changed the required age for children to start school to December 2nd. Since my daughter was born in November, she barely met the minimum age requirement to enroll her in kindergarten when it was time for her.
Jessica has always been very giggly, cheerful, and playful, especially when she was little.
On one occasion, her kindergarten teacher and I were chatting a little after the school day ended. After asking her how Jessica was doing, the teacher told me that Jessica took her time to start activities at the pace of the majority of the group. She also gave me other details. I listened attentively, and answered:
-What can I do to support her?
-Well, it’s not that we have to do anything. If you notice, Jessica is almost a year younger than most of her classmates. In the case of some, up to 363 days.
-Okay, and how does that help me?
VERY patiently, the teacher answered me:
-Today, when you see the boys and girls in the classroom, what you see are children of more or less similar heights, who speak in a similar way, and who are learning at a similar pace. But their stage of development is not necessarily the same. If you saw the same children at the time Jessica was born, you would see completely different children, you would see a newborn, next to one-year-old children, who perhaps already talk a lot and already walk. Does that mean that your daughter is not able to walk and talk? Of course not! It means that she is younger. For that reason, it is normal that today she is more playful, chatty and that she takes more time to start working like the others. It is just a matter of time and maturity. There is nothing wrong with being younger. Don’t worry, her maturity will come at the right time, and she will be able to do what is expected of her.
Over the years, at the parent-teacher conference during the first semester, I heard a similar message. That Jessica was a little behind from the rest of the group. There were some unmet expectations.
Have you ever felt like you didn’t meet what was expected of you?
If it hadn’t been for the patience of the kindergarten teacher who made me see that my daughter was at a different stage, I would have believed that there was something wrong with her. The expectations that were held for her and for all the students in her classroom were the same. But the expectations were not appropriate for her at that time of her development.
In your experience, is what you expect of yourself appropriate for your stage of life?
Paul tells us that we have a high priest who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses, being tested in everything, except sin.
Some time ago I heard that the word sin in Aramaic means to miss the mark. But what would it be if we were setting “marks, goals or expectations” that are not appropriate for our particular moment in life?
Jesus didn’t miss the mark. And he is compassionate with us.
Jessica, every year, continued to grow, mature, learn and practice. And at the right time in her development, she met the academic expectations that were required of her and her classmates.
If Jesus has compassion for our weaknesses, would he be impatient with the development of each one of us? Would he be impatient with your development?
Jesus has compassion for you, and for me.
How compassionate are you with yourself when you miss the mark? How compassionate are you with others?
The expectations we have of each other, will have to be according to our particular reality, stage and moment of life.
We are growing, we are walking. We walk with Jesus.
If the Spirit leads you, ask Jesus the carpenter how you could grow in compassion for yourself, and for others.
Marisol
P.S. We can hear about’ compassion and mercy in the readings for the XXIX Sunday of Ordinary Time, Year/Cycle B.
