It’s so good to connect with you.
Some time ago I knew of a person who found difficult to ask for help in some areas of her life. In practical or work related matters, she had no problem, or did not hesitated to ask for support when she needed it. But on things a little more personal, she didn’t feel as comfortable asking for help. For someone who doesn’t know her closely, anyone would say that she has great confidence. However, she does not identify with that description, she defines herself as a somewhat insecure person, who doubts a lot, and who does not want to bother anyone.
This reminded me of conversations I heard when I was a little girl. They were between my friend’s moms, my mom and my aunts, giving us advice to us girls when we went to each other’s houses for playdates. Between behaving recommendations, they also told us not to ask for extra things, or said on a different way, “don’t ask and ask and ask.” Now I see it tenderly, but back then I didn’t understand why they told us that.
In my practice of spiritual accompaniment, I have had the privilege of walking with several people, for whom asking God for their needs and longings is somewhat complicated, or distant. It is not difficult to find the similarities between early experiences, of having been educated not to ask, with the difficulty of expressing to God something they long for.
From the point of view of our personal relationship with God, some consequences of this are revealed in not paying attention within ourselves to what we want or need. Those words “don’t ask and ask and ask,” if they were told to us many times, might be deeply engraved in our being. What this sometimes causes is assuming that we are wrong for 1) wanting something, and 2) thinking that God “has” time and attention for us. The possible outcome? Not trying to notice what is inside, and assuming that God is not interested in listening to us. And if we manage to express what we want, there is a great doubt that God will listen, and even less so, that God will respond.
How is it for you when you ask God for something?
Or,
Do you even ask God?
There are several examples in the Old Testament about people asking God for something. One of them is mentioned by Moses to the Hebrews. It turns out that there was a time when the Hebrews asked God for something on Mount Horeb. And it was Moses who gave them the answer from God.
God heard, and God responded.
As for the person who had difficulty asking God for more personal things, she realized something. When she was in work situations, she had no problem asking, nor receiving. And in her relationship with God, she did not receive, because she hardly even asked.
Although prayer is not just about asking and receiving, it is certainly an important expression in our relationship with God.
How about we reflect on our part of the petition prayer? What is the internal posture in which you find yourself when asking God for something?
I’m not talking about how or when God responds to you, but rather the internal posture in which you and I find ourselves when we discover that there is something we need or long for.
God is present, and God will do his part, but this question refers to our interior.
How does it feel to think that you have something you need help with?
How do you feel about the possibility of expressing it?
How do you feel about the fact that you have a need?
Do you feel that God would listen to you and respond to your request?
Only you can discover the answer, within you.
I invite you to take time, with intention and attention, to listen to yourself. And whatever emerges is a treasure.
Longing to listen (to you,)
Marisol
P.S. The account of God’s response to the Hebrews can be found in one of the readings of the Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time, cycle B.
