One of my most vivid memories from when I was a child, was hearing my dad and mom say at various times:
“Playing hand games is for villains.”
They would say this every time my brother and I started fighting after spending some “peaceful” time together
And just like the phrase says, it was when we started using our hands. Whether it was a tug, a slap, grabbing what we had in our hands, or something similar.
They didn’t just say that phrase to us. I also remember hearing it when a similar situation arose between us and our cousins.
Honestly, when I started hearing it, I didn’t even know what a villain was, hahaha. But I could perceive the negative connotation of what a villain was.
Then I had a very naive impression of what a villain was, when I associated the “bad guys” in cartoons doing their thing, and I thought, “Oh! A villain is a bad person.”
In my childish conclusions, I didn’t realize that actions aren’t what defines people. I imagined villains “were always bad people.”
But when my parents would occasionally tell us:
“Hand games are for villains…”
That wasn’t the only thing they told my brother and me.
They also said something like this:
“You’re the only siblings in this house. Take care of each other and love each other, because you only have each other.”
And it wasn’t until I started watching my two then-young daughters start to fight that I truly understood the value of those words. Even though I sometimes didn’t like to hear them.
It wasn’t about everything always being picture perfect, but about knowing how to deal with our differences.
And you, do you recognize your differences with those around you? How do you deal with them?
In the cartoons I watched, “the good guys” always won. And the “villains” lost.
What if you and I were the “villains” to others?
Maybe we are. And God loves us all the same.
What I did realize remembering my parents’ words, (and when I saw my daughters arguing heatedly) was that I couldn’t and wouldn’t take sides. I love my daughters equally. It’s true that the situation must be addressed, but it’s not a matter of taking sides, but rather learning to live with our differences.
What do you do when there is a disagreement with other people?
Scripture describes how Paul and Barnabas left Antioch after a commotion for preaching to non-Jews. Those who weren’t Jews gladly received the good news, and the Jews were jealous.
Disagreements have happened, and most likely will continue to happen.
What if Is it about agreeing to disagree when we face deep differences?
When my parents wanted to prevent “games of villains,” it was as if they wanted to prevent fights, but not necessarily disagreements.
For Paul and Barnabas, it was better to shake the dust off their sandals.
What’s best for you? What helps you cope and remember that we are all loved equally?
Now that my mom is on the other side of heaven, I remember many times when I disagreed with her. However, love prevails.
What helps you remain in love?
If the Spirit leads you, share with Jesus the carpenter any disagreements you may have with someone else. And perhaps Jesus will share with you his best way of handling differences.
Marisol
P.S. We can hear about Paul and Barnabas leaving Antioch in the IB readings for Easter Sunday, Year/Cycle C.
