There was a season in my life, although I couldn’t see it at the moment, that I was overloaded with responsibilities and commitments. No one forced me, I took them voluntarily. To some of those commitments I was persuaded into intelligently, but still, I was the one who said yes.
That stage of my life started little by little. I didn’t plan on being completely busy overnight. Rather it happened in a period of time in which I did not pay proper attention.
Coincidentally, it happened that I moved, I went back to school for a graduate program, and started 2 part-time jobs. I had such a zeal to do what I wanted to do, that I didn’t consider the consequences. Also, I was in charge of the “normal function” of my house, including two then-young daughters.
In retrospect, I don’t know how I did it. My trust in God is something that is maturing over the years, and it seems that for me back then, I was more naive.
I remember my mom telling me: “Love, rest.” To which I responded with the attitude of a teenager: “Yes, mom,” more so that she would stop saying it, and I could change the subject. I was already a grown up, I felt very grown up (and with some attitude), and my ego didn’t like it at all every time she told me. Frankly, it went in one ear and out the other. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to rest, it was more that I wanted to keep going, I didn’t want to stop. I imagined that the opportunities I was taking were going to disappear, and that they would never come again. I didn’t know it at the time, but it wasn’t like that.
Has it ever happened to you that you think you don’t have time to rest, or that opportunities will go away if you rest?
On one occasion I was in a class, in which it began with the Sabbath in the Jewish tradition. In short, one of the many aspects of the Sabbath is about imitating the day when God rested after all the creation. It was not about “being lazy” (which was the hidden impression that I had), but rather it was about observing with love the works done.
We were given several reflection prompts, and one questioned me deeply:
-If God has taken a day of rest, why don’t you take it? Do you think you will achieve more than God?
My mind responded: “Of course not!”
But when observing my activities, my week, my calendar, my occupations…. There was a different answer.
Take a pause, and remember your activities from the previous two weeks. Did you give yourself time to rest?
Now, remember your plans for the next two weeks. Have you included rest time?
The pace of work that I took at that stage of my life stopped for me a little before the pandemic began. And when the lockdown started, maybe I didn’t have the same occupations, but (like many of us), I had even more preoccupations.
The pandemic continued its course in the following years. One day I was admitted to the emergency room to have surgery for a brain tumor. And that’s where I really wanted to learn to rest. The recovery time included not only the sequels caused directly by the tumor, but also other secondary consequences. I had, I had, I had to rest. That was what my body needed.
Before, my good shepherd invited me to rest. (Now I want to see it with humor), he made me rest.
Resting, having leisure, was not only restoring my health, but there was also a collateral consequence that I would never have imagined. It was learning to trust God in a more full and mature way compared to my previous experience.
It was no longer that I had to work, in or outside home. The point was that if I didn’t take care of me and give my body the rest and time it needed, my well-being and that of my daughters was going to be even more uncertain.
Among other things, I had to internally reconsider concepts such as “I always have to work”, “this opportunity, once it leaves, it’ll never come back”, “he who doesn’t work, doesn’t eat.”
In your case, do you need to reconsider or modify something internally in order to rest or have leisure? What do you need to change in your way of thinking?
Our life experiences are different, and it is not about comparing, or justifying why we can, or why we cannot rest. Maybe it’s about finding those moments or spaces of time where we can rest and restore our bodies.
Before this health episode, I had seen and learned about work environments where rest is looked down upon. Conversations among some of the leaders mention how saturated their calendars are and how busy their lives are. If you had asked me if I thought the same, I would have said no. But my actions screamed otherwise.
I began to discern something different when I heard the following, that work can become the only addiction that is socially celebrated. We receive applause, compliments and even recognition for doing it excessively. Clearly, this is not the case for everyone. Work is a blessing from God. And also, our Good Shepherd, takes us to rest.
In your case, do you have your schedule completely full of occupations?
On one occasion Jesus wanted to take his apostles to rest, because they had worked hard. He intended to take them to a secluded place, but word spread among the people, and they came forward to meet them at their resting place. Still, it seems that Jesus did not put them to work at that time. Jesus took care of the unfinished business.
In my case, during my recovery time it happened as I imagined. I had to let go of some opportunities. Others that I already had “in my hands” I had to let go. And what I didn’t imagine also happened. At the right time, other opportunities began to show up, which have been right for me.
The Good Shepherd, although there is much to do, not only invites us to rest, he makes us rest.
Jesus, in addition to wanting his apostles to rest, took care of the remaining work. He began to teach those who wanted to continue learning.
Can we trust that God takes care of everything while we rest?
If the Spirit leads you, share with Jesus the carpenter your work experience and your desire for rest.
And let us remember, that while we rest, while we restore our strength, God can take care of everything.
Marisol
P.S We can hear about how our Good Shepherd wants us to rest, he makes us rest, and how he takes care of things when we rest, in the readings for the 16th Sunday in Ordinary Time, year/cycle B.
